Why Directions Are a Waste of Time

I went to the doctor the other day and got a prescription for Flonase to control my always-present allergies. The pharmacist cautioned me not to let it run down my throat, because it can cause a throat fungus (GROSS!!!) and a whole kerflooey of extra side effects. So, today before trying it for the first time, I read the full, two-page patient leaflet, PLUS the folded-up instructions that came in the box. Confident that I had memorized all the correct steps, I went into the bathroom and

1. Forgot to shake it.
2. Didn’t prime it enough times.
3. Forgot to blow my nose beforehand.
4. Forgot to tip my head forward.
5. Forgot to hold one nostril shut.
6. Forgot to take a moment between squirts in the same nostril.
7. Didn’t breathe in hard enough in nostril one.
8. Breathed in too hard in nostril two.
9. Forgot to breathe out my mouth instead of my nose.
7. Blew my nose afterward, which you’re not supposed to do.
8. Felt it slide immediately down my throat.

Welp… better luck tomorrow.

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