Shoes! Eyes! Heartbreak! (My vision hasn’t changed, though, so that’s good)

Yesterday I had an eye doctor appointment — and let me just interrupt myself here to ask you why we say “eye doctor” instead of “optometrist.” Why do we do that with eye doctors only? It’s never acceptable to say, “Aaaugh, I think I have a cavity. I’d better go to the tooth doctor!” Or, “Oooooh, yeah, that’s a sketchy mole. You should see a skin doctor ASAP.”

Anyway, so I went to the optometrist in Santa Monica, and afterwards my pupils were so dilated I was like the opposite of Little Orphan Annie, who had no pupils (see Appendix A), and decided that instead of driving home in the bright sunlight I should instead seek refuge in a nearby shoe store — for my eyes, you see. Conveniently, I had a store credit at this very store, so for the sake of my vision, I decided I’d better find something to buy.

It didn’t take me long to find these adorable specimens of footwear (They’re Rocket Dog, if you’re wondering) (God bless Rocket Dog and all that they do):


I got both colors, and the magical part is, the total was something like $68.34 (yes, for both!) and my store credit was for $68.75. I generously let the store keep the change.

I was so happy. I couldn’t wait to wear them. I planned my outfit for today around the tan ones. And then, I put them on this morning, and the left one hurt my m-f-ing toe!!!!! I guess in the store I had walked around mostly with the right one on, but I did try the left one and got no warning signs that it would hurt. The main problem is, I think they’re a little too short, and it takes my big toe and squeezes it over towards my other toes, which as you may remember, is unacceptable as it may lead to bunions, one of my greatest fears in life, along with getting taken hostage and running out of Advil.

Maybe I could get a bigger size, but I fear the next size up will be too wide, and plus, these are the kind of shoes that only look good in small sizes, and I’m pretty sure the next size will make my feet look like boats.

So I came to work today in my boring flip flops (Both flip flops and sneakers are frowned upon at my office except on Fridays, but I’m at that “whatever” stage, so whatever). And I feel totally un-cute, and my day — nay my life — is ruined forever! Scowl.

Appendix A:

Little Orphan Annie

4 Responses to Shoes! Eyes! Heartbreak! (My vision hasn’t changed, though, so that’s good)

  1. Rachel says:

    I’ll have you know that big feet = big brain. This is a scientific fact, as exhibited by me! ;-)

  2. Amanda says:

    I also love rocket dog and once, I tried on a pair of rocket dogs and they were just a bit too short and the next size were a bit to large. I own other rocket dogs that fit just fine so I don’t know what the deal is with that. Those are super cute and such a tragic story.

  3. 1peanut says:

    buy a shoe horn, it should stretch them a little for you so they fit better

  4. aw feck says:

    SO glad this issue was resolved, especially after seeing first-hand the cuteness of the shoes. P.S. No wonder Little Annie was Orphaned — if my kid looked all freaky and pupil-less, I’d probably give her away, too.

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