Have You Missed It?

Then it’s your lucky day, because it’s

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Friday! BTW, I found that picture on Google images. Isn’t it great? Click on the thumbnail for the full effect. But anyway, on to business. I’ve gotten a lot of amazing email since the last Spam Friday. Let’s discuss:

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First, David Sanders needs to learn how to pronounce his R’s. He’s trying to warn me about a catastrophe, but I can’t stop laughing at his accent long enough to pay attention. I mean, who can take that seriously? I’m not trying to be mean, but David, if you’re reading this, you might want to consider taking a speech class.

Now this one really caught my attention: Jeffrey will be paralized with atomic generators? Who wrote this? Someone from the future? Are they talking about the Jeffrey we know and love? I seriously hope not. I mean, how do they know that? And what are these atomic generators of which they speak? I’d sure like some more info. on that. Do you think this could be the catastwophe David was trying to warn me about? I’m sorry, I’m giggling again. Sorry David. I just can’t help it. Seriously, man, take a speech class.

No, Earl, it’s dead people. You see dead people.

I guess there’s a new store in town called ITEMS OF INTEREST City. It kind of reminds me of a big discount store that used to be in Asheville called Sky City. And I can’t think of Sky City without remembering the awful evening in 6th grade when my mom and I were in Sky City buying me my first ever bras, and we ran into my 6th grade teacher, Mrs. Harter. Now looking back, I’m 100% sure Mrs. Harter probably didn’t even notice or care about the AA-cup white cotton bra with a rainbow stripe around the bottom that my mom was waving around while they were talking, but at the time, I had never felt so embarrassed in all of my twelve years of existence. Except maybe the year before in 5th grade when we were playing kickball in P.E. and I was on the outfield team guarding 3rd base, but I spaced out, as I am prone to do, and forgot which team I was on, and when someone kicked the ball I ran home. But that’s another story for another time. Or maybe I just told you the whole story anyway. But anyway, my point is, ITEMS OF INTEREST City might be pretty cool, or it might be pretty lame. Because my items of interest could be different from your items of interest, you know? If it were called “Marcy’s ITEMS OF INTEREST City” it would be totally awesome. It would stock lots and lots of cute clothes, shoes, books, Harry Potter merchandise including invisibility cloaks, bikes, tap shoes and dance wear just in case I start doing that again, plays and screenplays, DVDs of all my favorite TV shows and movies, tasty healthy hot food, ice cream, beach towels, an arts & crafts section, and a mini Ikea wing. Oh, and lots of cute, friendly, happy, healthy puppies, and various other cute furry things. Of course.

Anyway, back on topic. Dona Shafer wants me to go compromise, and to that I say, “Pooh Pooh!” and thumb my nose. I mean, don’t get me wrong; compromise is good in many instances, but I’m not about to compromise my dreams and goals, as I think she is suggesting, because frankly I don’t trust her motives. I’ll just leave it at that.

Roderick Herring is referring to himself as a jockstrap dignitary, and isn’t that just like him? He’s all, “Hey, I’m a dignitary, and I’m wearing a jockstrap.” Oh, Roderick.

Katrine Salas wants to sell me a claustrophobia fiddle. I called her and asked her to expound on what exactly that does, and she said you carry it wherever you go, and whenever you start feeling claustrophobic you start playing it and it makes you feel better. I asked her if any old fiddle would do the same thing, and she said no, this one is special, but she wouldn’t tell me why. I think it might be a rip-off, but I’m still trying to research it, because if it is a special fiddle I know some claustrophobic people who might really benefit from it. I don’t think I’ll be stocking any claustrophobia fiddles in Marcy’s ITEMS OF INTEREST City, though.

Finally, Gwendolyn Ayala has created a music compilation for her stepmother. She shared it with me because I DON’T KNOW WHY. Gwen and I aren’t really even good friends, but whatever. Maybe she copied me on the email by mistake. I will tell you that Gwendolyn’s stepmother must really like Celine Dionne, that’s all I’m saying.

Happy Friday, Peeps!

2 Responses to Have You Missed It?

  1. 1peanut says:

    wow, you get some crazy email huh?

  2. joanna says:

    i wuv you my funny friend. and, by the way, if you ever decide to be entrepreneurial and start a Marcy’s ITEMS OF INTEREST City chain, i truely hope it reaches the east coast. that would be just spiffy. :)

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