There’s a Reason They’re Called “The Golden Years”!

Y’all, I can’t wait to retire! I know this is weird, but I get really excited when I think about it. It’s not even about not working anymore, although that will be sweet. I just think it will be rad to live in a retirement community with a bunch of other “active seniors.” I’m talking about the kind in Florida that’s a little community of really nice condos and well-manicured lawns, where everyone rides around on golf carts. We’ll all get up at 6 AM and play tennis every day, then lounge by the pool until lunchtime, then drink sweet tea and play cards and brag about our grandchildren’s acheivements until 4, then go to the cafeteria at 4:30 to catch the early bird special. I want to sit on the screened-in porch with my girlfriends on our tacky-chic white wicker beach furniture and talk about the strapping young gardener’s muscles, or even the nice butt on the widower down the street.

I don’t know, I just think it’s gonna be awesome. Peers, let’s all move to the same retirement community when we hit 70. Who’s with me?

2 Responses to There’s a Reason They’re Called “The Golden Years”!

  1. Eric says:

    Nah. When I turn 70, I’m going to drive my car into a crowded marketplace.

  2. Amanda says:

    The irony is, when you get old, you want to work. It’s like that thing where now I can’t afford really cute clothes but by the time I can, I’ll be too chunky to make them work for me. Life’s one big ironical moment….yes, ironical.

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