A Little Bit Country, a Little Bit Rock ‘n Roll
April18
I guess I haven’t been paying attention to the news, because I missed it when someone deemed today the official “Drive Like an Asshole” day. All day long, I have been swerving in and out and around idiots. This morning someone in an old VW Beetle cut me off to the extent that I had to slam on my brakes, then swerve into the other lane and lay on my horn; and I would like to share right here that what I shouted was — because I’ve kind of made a half-assed attempt to vary my vocabulary in such a way that makes me slightly less old-man-sailor-like — what I shouted was, “GEEZ LOU-FUCKIN’-WEEZE!” Yes, that’s right. Geez Lou-fuckin-weeze.
But I’m telling you, she deserved it.
Yesterday, right?? YES! Apparently this bulletin was widely disseminated, because I also encountered a higher concentration of shitty drivers than usual on my commute into work.
I figured a stern honk and my icy glare taught them a lesson they won’t soon forget.
Fart breath. They all have fart breath.
I had someone drive beside me at 45 miles an hour in the bicycle lane. WTF? Geez lou-fuckin’-weese indeed.