I Need to Be Punished

OK, cowboy, rope that pony in before you get any ideas. I just mean I need a little discipline.

Wow, that sounds dirty, too. Is it hot in here?

Alright. Let’s start over. I have no self discipline. Did I ever have any? I can’t remember. But for the last few weeks I have been going to bed at midnight or later every night, getting far too little sleep, hitting snooze waaaaay too many times in the morning, and speeding to work like a bat out of hell. Then I’m tired at work and take a lunchtime nap in my car. Then, since I napped, I’m not tired between 10 and 11 that night when I should be going to bed, so I stay up, and the cycle repeats.

What do I do at night? Well, sometimes I go out, but other times… oh, you know… aimlessly surf the net, maybe read, maybe play the guitar, and more often than not, stare. Just… stare at… ohhhh, wall, ceiling, whatever strikes my fancy. Or maybe I’ll close my eyes and half fall asleep with my clothes on and my right hand on the keyboard of my laptop or my guitar across my stomach, and the only thought running through my head is, “I should get up and brush my teeth. I need to get up. I need to wake up right now and go wash my face and brush my teeth so I can get a decent night’s sleep for a change. Right this very second, I am going to get up. Now. At this moment, I will arise from this bed and I will go wash my face, damn it! Right now! RIGHT! NOW! I WILL GET UP!… zzzzzzzzz…”

Do you see why I need outside assistance in helping me submit to my own authority? (hmm, strangely the room seems to be warming up again… perhaps I shall submit to my own aforementioned authority a little tonight…) I mean, what in John Brown’s name is wrong with me? Tonight I’m going to meet a friend after work, so this will be especially challenging, but I’m telling you now, as you people are my witnesses, I am going to do everything within my power to go to bed on time tonight and get up on time tomorrow.

And if I don’t? Well… we can discuss my punishment later (wink).

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