So, WordPress has this fun "Blog Stats" page where we get to see how many people have viewed our blog and how they found it (but not who has viewed it, so if you're stalking me, breathe a sigh of relief. I don't know who you are. Stalk away, my little stalking friends).  It shows search terms people used, like in Google, that pulled up my blog.  Some of them are very, very funny.  Such as:

wearing pigtails

birthday gift for 27 year old woman

forth of july baby clothes

"panties were exposed"

pet penguin under stairs japan

pet penguin living under stairs japan (someone really wants to learn more about a penguin under some stairs in Japan)!

kate gets spanked

hyperventilate during tennis match

"first time I got drunk"

belly explode

And my favorite:

PICTURES OF WOMEN CRYING BEING SPANKED

I can't believe people are searching for those things on the internet! And that those terms are pulling up my blog! Hahaha.  So… I guess I unknowingly host a porn site? (And now that I have written that, a search for the word "porn" will undoubtedly now also bring up this site. I have probably just increased my traffic exponentially).  My new challenge: Write a post that includes a hyperventilating penguin with exposed patriotic panties spanking Kate, who is wearing pigtails, under some stairs (in Japan, of course).  But nobody's belly explodes — that's just gross.

UPDATE: I checked again today, and found two more search terms people had used:

FROSTY ROOTBEER

and

nice porsche small penis

Gold. Pure gold.