BaddMinton

Y’all, what is the matter with me? I’m sorry I haven’t written a blentry in forever. I just keep getting distracted with things. Yesterday, for example, there was a one-legged cricket in my bathroom all day. Every time I went to pee, I eyed him suspiciously to make sure he knew I would not tolerate him jumping on me. This was before I knew he only had one leg. At that point, he actually may have had two, because it wasn’t until later that I saw a leg sitting on its own a short distance away from the cricket himself, bless his heart.

I kept hoping he would just disappear like magic, but by the time it was time to go to bed, he was still there, and had in fact hobbled to right in front of the toilet where I would be forced to either step on him with my bare feet or risk him jumping or crawling on me when I sat down. I don’t like killing bugs like crickets because they’re big enough to hear a crunch and make a mess, and plus crickets aren’t gross like some other bugs. At the same time, though, I knew I didn’t want him jumping on me, and I was faced with a call from nature I simply could not ignore… so I got a big plastic cup and a newspaper and hooshed him into the cup with the newspaper, then poured him out the front window into the window box, which is probably a much more pleasant place for a one-legged cricket than a bathroom floor.

Point being, things like this keep happening and things like blog writing keep not happening, so I’m sorry. You might think a cricket in the bathroom is a poor excuse for not writing a blentry, and you are entitled to your opinion. You might also wonder what I was doing while not writing and while the cricket was relaxing in the bathroom, and the answer is: I woke up at 10, showered, rode my bike up to the corner to a massage studio and got a massage, rode home, got back in bed with my laptop and watched episodes of Clark and Michael until I feel asleep, napped for an hour and a half, then got up and went across town to my improv practice, then after practice went to El Guapo with most of my team for half-price bad food, then went home and went to bed. As you can see, I am far too busy and important to spare a moment for blog writing, or “laundry,” or “cleaning my room” for that matter.

P.S. I am SICK! With a dumb cold. I sneezed a billion times in a row last night, and my nose is all tickly. Please feel sorry for me.