Hello, Operator

Welllll, as most of you already know, I dropped my cell phone in the toilet at work on Monday. I emailed a bunch of people in my address book to ask for phone numbers, and I got so many sympathetic and hilarious replies back, it made my day. It’s pretty great that I have so many sweet, funny friends. The other thing that’s great is that I’m using the phone now that I had 2-4 years ago, and after I got it activated, I went through all the ringtones and listened to them (see Appendix A for my rant on ringtones), and it hearkened me back to the time in my life when I was using this phone. My main ringtone reminded me of New Year’s 2004, which I spent in Boston and New York with my friend Elise; the choo-choo train sound reminded me of being in Delaware shooting Jeremy’s movie Wrestling; the “rainforest” alarm sound reminded me of my trip to Australia in March/April of that year with five of my friends, because on the morning we had to get up really early to literally go to the rainforest, I set that alarm so as to be thematic, and for once in my life I hopped out of bed without hitting snooze, because we were going! to the rainforest! Come on guys, wake up!; and so on and so forth, with warm, fuzzy memories for each ringtone.

Screetching subject change: Some of y’all have asked me how I got the high five from Ryan Gosling that I mentioned 2 blentries ago, and truthfully I hadn’t updated you because it’s a pretty boring story and I enjoyed being mysterious, because maybe in your minds you were picturing me hobnobbing with high society and whatnot. Nah… I went and saw a screening of Lars and the Real Girl, and Ryan was there doing Q&A afterwards, and then after the Q&A he actually stuck around to talk to people, so my friend and I went up to talk to him, and we chatted for a second and he gave me a high five. So yeah, booooring. But I thoroughly enjoyed both the five and the movie. In fact, the movie was really, really, incredible, and I highly encourage you to see it. Best movie I’ve seen in years, except of course for Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix. Did I just discredit myself for saying that, and now you won’t go see Lars? Well, your loss… and HP5 was truly a badass movie, even if you aren’t a Potter nerd like I am.

Appendix A: The Ringtone Rant

It’s so annoying how none of the newfangled cell phones on the market now have nice ringtones. They just expect you to download songs, so they don’t bother. But ringtones used to be my favorite part of phones! I used to not buy a phone before I had heard and approved of all the ringtones. I think it’s more fun to have a cute jingly tune than a song, because if you choose a song you like, you will get sick of it and stop liking it as much, and if you pick a song you don’t like, that’s just dumb. In conclusion, I am resistant to change (just call me Gramps) and plan to keep my old-ass phone until it falls apart or I drop it in something wet, and every time it rings its beautiful jingly-jangly ringtone I will feel rapture. By the way, the first time I heard a polyphonic ring tone, as opposed to the single-toned beepity ones that they all used to have, I was visiting my friend Jamie in Brooklyn, heard his phone ring, and thought it was the ice cream truck. Yep.

2 Responses to Hello, Operator

  1. HA!! Wait, I mean — I’m sorry that you dropped your phone in the crapper. Condolences. On the bright side it does afford me the opportunity to relay my cousin’s story about his poor cellie. Here goes– He was in the bathroom going onezie, when his phone rang. So, he quickly wrapped things up on the peepee front, flushed, and hastily tried to wrest the phone from his pocket. As he did so the phone slipped out of his hand, like so much soap in the shower. It popped straight up, arced into the flushing toilet, and disappeared down into the hole. oops. To make matters worse, he discovered that it had not flushed all the way. It had become lodged in the U in the pipe, thereby clogging the toilet from further use. He tried in vain to dislodge the phone, but ended up having to call a plumber. He showed up a minute before cuz had to go to class. So cuz left in the bathroom, scratching his head. Later that day, when cuz returned, he found his toilet sitting in many pieces on his front porch, and his sopping wet cell phone on his table. Apparently the plumber had not had much luck either. He said that it was so stuck there was no other way to get it out. I think he may have just gotten a kick out of smashing some kid’s toilet. Keep reading, only 6,00 more words to go.
    Cousin Bullard decided to test his luck and send the phone back to sprint to see if they would replace it for him. He did NOT tell them what was wrong with it. And as a final slap in the face, they returned it, in working condition. They had replaced only the screen, which they said they had thought sustained some “slight water damage.”
    It should also be noted that he told me this story minutes after I had used the phone. ew.

  2. Jackie says:

    I soooo dropped my phone in the toilet too! To be quite honest, I was unfortunately at a high school party after I graduated from high school, and I unfortunately put my now seemingly ginormous cell phone in my back pocket. I remember now that while I was still in high school, we used to make fun of the people who had graduated but still came to sports events and parties and stuff. We’d tell them (behind their backs of course) to graduate already! Anyways, a few too many ‘lil red plastic cupfulls later….i sit down to do the ceremonial ‘breaking of the seal’…. I stand up and lo and behold … no phone. look down…there it is. my cute little phone with the clear orange cover that i thought was so cool. and the keys would light up all different colors when it rang…kinda like the see through land line phones almost everyone had as a kid? well, i had to go get a crappy “get a phone for a dollar when you sign a 2yr contract” phone. that was the beginning of my sucky cell phone history. I hope you enjoyed my way too long, but hopefully interesting, comment.

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