Made By 100% Douchebags
OK, y’all, riddle me this:
We got a bunch of these paper plates at work, and I looked at them and for a second was like, “Oh, good — recycled!”
Then I took a closer look…
Those little rats! Right? They’re trying to fool old people and people who don’t read things carefully by pretending to be environmentally friendly! #1, They call themselves “Green Label,” using a term traditionally used for earth-friendly merchandise. And even more ridiculous is this piece of BS: “Made from 100% paper; a renewable natural resource.” Well, what the hell else would paper plates be made of? Kittens?? And do they think we’re so dumb that we think trees are just totally renewable; that we can just chop them down willy nilly and re-plant them and immediatly have an insta-forest?
Those deceitful little rascals! Who are they trying to kid with this thing?! Me, obviously. Well, nice try, buttheads. I’m hip to your jive.
Ooh, shady business all around! Evil is a renewable resource!
I am feeling your pain this week. I get these promotioal kits from a logo company and this week they sent me a “green” package. I got a hug cardboard box with a biodegradable plastic cup and a lanyard with their company name on it. I thought to myself, “This huge box contained a dirty cup that I won’t drink out of and a lanyard I won’t wear and they call that green?!” I applaud the effort but the delivery was all off.
Well at least they’re not plastic.
Holy shit!! That is horribly deceitful. I can’t believe how manipulative that is. Good eye, Agent Minton. Good eye.
Ehhh, I say screw it. Who wants a lame cold Green planet when we can easily achieve a Rockin’ toasty warm Brown one?? With just a little effort from everyone we could easily heat this bitch up a good ten degrees and get rid of all those stupid good-for-nuthin’ plants. Like poison Ivy for instance. Ok, off to burn some plastic bags.