Made By 100% Douchebags

OK, y’all, riddle me this:

We got a bunch of these paper plates at work, and I looked at them and for a second was like, “Oh, good — recycled!”

Then I took a closer look…


Those little rats! Right? They’re trying to fool old people and people who don’t read things carefully by pretending to be environmentally friendly! #1, They call themselves “Green Label,” using a term traditionally used for earth-friendly merchandise. And even more ridiculous is this piece of BS: “Made from 100% paper; a renewable natural resource.” Well, what the hell else would paper plates be made of? Kittens?? And do they think we’re so dumb that we think trees are just totally renewable; that we can just chop them down willy nilly and re-plant them and immediatly have an insta-forest?

Those deceitful little rascals! Who are they trying to kid with this thing?! Me, obviously. Well, nice try, buttheads. I’m hip to your jive.

5 Responses to Made By 100% Douchebags

  1. Wan says:

    Ooh, shady business all around! Evil is a renewable resource!

  2. Amanda says:

    I am feeling your pain this week. I get these promotioal kits from a logo company and this week they sent me a “green” package. I got a hug cardboard box with a biodegradable plastic cup and a lanyard with their company name on it. I thought to myself, “This huge box contained a dirty cup that I won’t drink out of and a lanyard I won’t wear and they call that green?!” I applaud the effort but the delivery was all off.

  3. Jen Jen says:

    Well at least they’re not plastic.

  4. Vivi says:

    Holy shit!! That is horribly deceitful. I can’t believe how manipulative that is. Good eye, Agent Minton. Good eye.

  5. Jason says:

    Ehhh, I say screw it. Who wants a lame cold Green planet when we can easily achieve a Rockin’ toasty warm Brown one?? With just a little effort from everyone we could easily heat this bitch up a good ten degrees and get rid of all those stupid good-for-nuthin’ plants. Like poison Ivy for instance. Ok, off to burn some plastic bags.

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