Babies vs. Puppies

This is it.  The most pressing question of all time:  Which is cuter: Babies or Puppies? Personally, I tend to go back and forth, but have historically leaned toward puppies.  When I see an extra cute puppy, for example, my voice involuntarily rises approximately two octaves, and squeaking sounds emit from my throat that are so high-pitched, only said puppy can hear them.  This does not usually happen with babies to such an extent.  However, as soon as I'm confident about puppies' spot in first place, along comes an extra-cute baby to make me re-think things.  So, I've decided to let you, the Internet, help me decide.  I present here several pieces of evidence, from both sides of the argument. 

 First, I present to you Exhibit A:  Willie.  Willie is Jeff's little sister Sage's dog, and… well, I think the evidence speaks for itself:


OK. Pretty cute, right?  That's one for the puppies.  But… and I have to say, this next picture is going to put babies in a clear lead.  Here it comes… May I present: Gareth!

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On cue now: "Awwwwwwww!" Gareth is my co-workers Julie & Cliff's baby — the one I bought an adorable dress for when I thought he was going to be a girl.  Julie brings him around every morning when she leaves work and Cliff arrives, and each day I try to trick her into leaving without him so I can play with him all day. "Quick! Julie, Fire Alarm! Save yourself; I'll take the baby.  You don't hear anything?  Weird.  Anyway, RUN! RUN!" or "Gareth?  Um, Nooooo, this is my baby.  I brought him today.  What's that?  Looks a lot like Gareth?  Yes, that is quite a coincidence, isn't it?  Oh, I think I may have seen your baby out in your car, or at your house.  Maybe you should go look there.  You really shouldn't leave a baby alone — you should know that, Julie.  Hurry up, now, Go!"

It has yet to work, but I am far from giving up.

So: It's one to one.  Puppies and babies are neck and neck. 

Ladies and Gentlemen: Professor Chips. 


P. Chips is the English Bulldog puppy Jeff had for two days before the breeder called crying, wanting him back because she had fallen in love with him.  Because he is the cutest creature ever to have walked the earth.  Damn.  Looking back, I realize it was probably a good thing Jeff gave him back, for both of us.  Not only was Prof. Chips the biggest cock-blocker ever ("Jeff who?  GIIIIVVE MEEEEE PUUUPPPPYYYYYYY"), he was so soft and cute he literally gave me a headache.  So… Puppies again take the lead.  But…. wait until you get a load of this:


Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!  My ovaries are exploding!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I must begin procreating NOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  The world needs more cute things like this!  I must gobble her up!  I must consume this baby at once, with butter and a glass of milk! 

Ah… pant, pant, leaning against wall for support, catching breath…. ahem… OK, this is Elanor, the daughter of my lovely friend Joanna.  Elanor is one baby who can give Professor Chips a damn good run for his money.  Can you even picture this baby and that puppy in the same room together?  I can't.  I think Earth would be sucked into a black hole, there would be such a concentration of cuteness in one area, and the imbalance would cause the end of the universe and all matter.  So basically we have concluded… nothing.  Babies and puppies are still tied.  They're two for two. 


It looks as though for the time being, at least, babies outshine puppies.  Click on this link here and crank up the sound.  And don't say I didn't warn you.

Case closed…. for now.

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