Archive for the ‘Current Events’ Category


May 6, 2013

Last night I met a friend and some of her friends who were in town for the premier of a film they were both in* for dinner at the Chateaux Marmont,** and it was one of those times when you meet a couple and instantly love them. I have a feeling these are people that everyone loves, so I shouldn’t feel all that special, I certainly don’t have a corner on that market — but they were warm and kind and beautiful and fashionable in a timeless and unpretentious way, and they really charmed the pants off me. (Not literally. It was not that kind of dinner.)

They were Australian, and now that I’m thinking of it, I have never met an Aussie I didn’t like, either in Australia or anywhere else. And most of them I have liked immensely. What really pushed me over the edge was when we were talking about words that are pronounced differently from English-speaking country to English-speaking country, which I think is always a fun game to play, and she said, “clitoris,” and it was the most beautiful sound I’d ever heard.

“Clitoris” is a word I’ve never felt comfortable saying, along with most words involving private anatomical parts, but the way she said it made me feel like I wanted to say it all the time. With the emphasis on the first syllable; the lightest, most delicate “l” sound; and a brittle, crispy “t.” Clitoris.

“That would make a beautiful girl’s name,” I said. “Clitoris Jane.”

After that discussion, another friend I didn’t know, an American***, joined our group, and when my conversation with him lulled for a moment, I found myself saying quietly, “Clitoris.”

Once, many eons ago, a man I loved rejected me for an Australian woman. At the time, I couldn’t understand. But now, knowing how lovely she must sound saying that word, I think I get it.

*Baz Lurhmann’s The Great Gatsby, OMG I CANNOT WAIT
** This sentence makes my life sound way more fabulous than it is.
*** A famous person, if you must know. Maybe my life IS fabulous. Who’s to say?

Pajama Jeans: An Embarrassing Rip in the Fabric Crotch of Society

January 12, 2012

OK… Can we talk for a second about pajama jeans?



What’s wrong with this picture?

I first saw them in Rite Aid on my lunch break with my friend Lindsay. I was all, “Whaaaaaaat the fuuuuuuuuuuck????” Since then, I’ve seen a few ads and have watched the infomercial, none of which did anything to make me less horrified.

Here’s the thing: I like that clothing has become more casual over the last century. I appreciate that I can go shopping without a corset, a petticoat, tiny, pointy high heels, and even without pantyhose. I like that I can even go to work in pants, a sweater, and flats. But there is a line. And pajama jeans have crossed it.

One of the tag lines in the ads is, “Just because you’re busy doesn’t mean you can’t look sharp!”

REALLY? Are they saying that we’re too busy to get dressed in the morning??? I wonder what we’re supposed to be doing that takes priority over putting on clothes. Texting? Skyping? Checking Facebook? Taking the kids to lessons? Answering work calls? What?

Is this true? Are we too busy? Or are we too lazy? Have we, as a society, reached a point where we can’t be bothered to change from our pajamas into our jeans in the morning? Or from our jeans back into our pajamas at night? Is this too much effort? Do we have to sleep in our clothes and go out in our nightclothes? We’re already apparently too lazy to walk to the TV to change the channel, flush our own toilets, and push or pull a button to put soap on our hands. Are we now too lazy to dress ourselves?

I can kind of understand the appeal if you’re over 90 years old and have a lot of trouble reaching and bending, but that’s really the only acceptable situation. I feel like the main target audience for pajama jeans is people who have just plain given up on life. Because, honestly, if walking from your bed to your dresser is too much effort, something is very, very wrong. And need I mention, if we’re lumbering out of bed and starting our day, wearing our jammies as jeans, does this mean we’re also skipping our shower? Because if you’re taking off the pajama jeans to take a shower, you might as well put on regular jeans. Or, if you’re showering at night, you might as well put on regular pajamas. Unless you’re SHOWERING in your pajama jeans, which I’d believe, because at this point, I’d believe anything.

There are many disturbing things happening in our world today. Pajama jeans may not seem like a disastrous turn of events to you, but I see it as a deadly omen; a harbinger of things to come. Mark my words.

(By the way, someone needs to tell the woman in the ad that she’s too old to wear pigtails.)

A Workday Conversation

October 28, 2011

The following workday conversation is regarding a local news article about a homeless man who built a guillotine in the woods and accidentally cut off his own arm. (as you do.)


Marcy: UM, WHY had he built a guillotine? Was that question never raised?

Lindsay: nobody seems even a little worried abotu that fact that this bum has a GUILLOTINE IN THE WOODS
Lindsay: I KNOW

Marcy: And how did he *accidentally* put his arm between the blades? I’m sorry. You build a guillotene and you cut off your own arm. You are an idiot.
Marcy: Yah, WTF??? Whose arm (or head) did he INTEND to cut off???

Lindsay: exactly

Marcy: Well, the good news is, it will now be 50% more difficult for him to murder someone.

State of the Listeners!

January 25, 2011

You guys! I’m watching Obama’s State of the Union address on MSNBC, and is it just me, or did a bunch of them go out for margaritas beforehand and are now struggling to stay awake? Hillary Clinton looked like she just woke up from a 20-hour nap.

My only other current observation is that it was interesting to see who clapped and stood and who remained seated when Obama said that now, men and women would no longer be prevented from serving the country they love based on the person they love. (Love it! I clapped and stood in my head.)

Isn’t democracy fun!?

My election guide for today!

November 2, 2010

Hey Fellow Citizens!

Today is hugely important for us as a state and a nation, so please get out there and vote! If you’re unsure about some of the candidates or propositions, here is who/what I’m voting for.

So you know if you want to listen to me or not, here’s where I stand: (Skip the next 2 paragraphs if you already trust me or just want to see the issues, already.) Issues that are important to me are the environment, insurance reform, education, and public transportation. I’m also concerned about overspending/mis-spending and government corruption. I dislike that big business is making decisions that affect us every day and hate the fact that California is in such a huge defecit. I’m registered non-partisan, because I like to vote for whomever or whatever I think will serve us best, regardless of party. That said, I almost always favor liberal and progressive candidates.

Much of my information comes from my boyfriend David, who has worked in politics for 8 years and keeps very good track of what’s going on. He’s met some of these candidates and/or has heard them speak in person, and he knows in-depth about their records and positions. David is passionate about many of the things I am, such as insurance reform and the environment. That, along with his super-hot muscles, is one of the reasons we get along so well.

So here are my picks:

Ballot measures:

19 — YES. I like this because I don’t think marijuana really hurts anyone, especially compared to alcohol. Also, I think taxing it will make good money for the state.

20 — YES. Props 20 and 27 do opposite things, and I’m voting YES on 20 and NO on 27. Basically, every so often, districs get redrawn. When politicians are in charge of this, they can draw a crazy puzzle piece around their supporters, pretty much guaranteeing that they get to stay in office, regardless of what they’re doing there. Several years ago, more power for re-drawing was given to an independent districting committee. Prop 20 gives more power to the independent committee, while Prop 27 gives more power to politicians. Democrats say to vote yes on 27 because they’re currently the party in power in CA, so this helps them temporarily. However, it’s more democratic in my opinion to have this done by an independent party and keeps things more fair.

21 — YES. I thought about this a lot, because parks are important, but on the flip side, times are tough, and car registration fees are already expensive. However, I did decide to vote yes, because parks have been losing so much money lately. I wish they could get money in a better way, but the bottom line is, that’s probably not going to happen any time soon, and parks are in big trouble. They are closing and closed, and they need money very, very badly. And parks are very important long term. Our land is precious, and once it’s gone, it’s gone. So I’m voting YES.

22 — No? The pros and cons on this are utterly confusing. Only groups we could find that have an opinion on this were CA nurses and the democratic party, both of whom say no. I think I’m going to vote no simply because we shouldn’t pass something that nobody seems to understand. Make it more clear and bring it up again in the next election.

23 — NO, NO, BIG FAT NO!!! This is a measure introduced by TEXAS oil companies who give neither a wet rat’s ass nor a wooden nickel about California. This will increase air pollution and DESTROY the environment, and I might personally punch you if you vote yes on this. VOTE NO!

24 — YES. There’s a lot of sneaky, false info. floating around about how this will hurt small business, but this is false. CA’s business tax rate is actually pretty good — it falls in about the middle, country wide. This measure will put the tax rate back to what it was BEFORE a few years ago, when in order to pass a budget, democrats were forced to cut a deal with big business. These tax breaks were bad for the environment and good for large corporations and insurance companies. Voting yes will return their tax rate back to normal.

25 — YES. CA is one of only 3 states that require a 2/3 majority to agree to pass a budget, and it makes things way more difficult. Some important changes need to be made to our budget, and this will make it easier to get those things done.

26 — Big, fat NO!!!

27 — NO — See prop 20’s explanation above.


Attourney General: Kamala Harris — She’d be the first woman, first minority and first gay/lesbian attourney general. She’s currently the San Fran DA and is incredibly intelligent, passionate, progressive, etc. Her parents were active in the Civil Rights movement, and she’s passionate about justice.

Insurance commissioner: Dave Jones is awesome. He’s been in the state assembly for the past 6-8 years. He’s liberal and progressive and has introdued strong bills on the environment and health care. One of his bills, which didn’t pass a couple years ago, would have given California residents protection from being denied by insurance companies based on pre-existing conditions. He also went after insurers for dropping people who got sick by finding small mistakes they’d made in their applications. Basically, this guy is rad, so let’s vote for him. Oh, and his opponent has taken lots of money from insurance companies, so is basically in their pocket. Booo.

State Controller — John Chiang

Sec. of state — Debra Bowen

Superintendent of public instruction — Tom Torlakson is progressive, has been in state legislature, and was a teacher for years

Governer — Jerry Brown, basically because Meg Whitman will destroy the environment and side with big business on everything, including things that will directly hurt you and me, unless you are the CEO of a huge corporation, in which case, I doubt you’re reading my blog.

Lt. Governor — Gavin Newsome – mayor of San Fran. He’s very progressive — has balanced the budget in San Fran even when most cities have been in the red — has established a city-wide health insurance program for San francisconans — very smart — has helped the environment — we like him.

US Senate — Barbara Boxer, because Carly Fiorina is horrific (See Meg Whitman)

OK, that’s my two cents! Go vote if you haven’t yet. Yay, democracy!

Addendum to Insurance Rant

October 6, 2010

I got to thinking just now. I wonder what the executives at my insurance company (American Heritage Life Insurance Company, part of Allstate Workplace Division) (in case anyone is googling it to see if it’s any good) (it isn’t) is doing with all the money I’m sending them each week. I know one thing they’re NOT doing with it, and that is helping me pay for my medical expenses. So what do you reckon they’re using it for?

Maybe they go to the zoo each week — the whole company just takes a zoo day. Hey, that might also explain why I have to wait on hold for so long when I call! They can’t answer the phone, because they’re all at the zoo buying lemonades with my money! I think we’re getting somewhere with this.

Maybe they order things out of those catalogs for old people, like rubber mats you put in front of the sink, or theraputic toe-separating slippers, or suction-cup handles you stick on the shower wall to help you get in and out of the tub. You think? They sure could buy a lot of those things with my money, because I sure do send them a lot of it!

Maybe they rent limousines every weekend and get dressed up and drive around their cities drinking booze, hanging out the sunroof, and catcalling passersby.

Maybe they buy ugly, gaudy gold jewelry, or bad Christmas sweaters, or golf shoes. Or maybe they just put it toward their country club memberships. Or maybe they get their shoes shined 10 times a day.

Or maybe they give it to charity, because they’re so interested in helping people and making the world a better place. HAHAHAHAHAHA! HAHAHAHA! Ohhhhh.

Do y’all have any speculations? I’d love to hear them!

Insurance Rant

October 6, 2010

Hi! I’m mad, so I’m going to rant about it on my blog. I just found out that my claim for a basic, yearly lady visit to the OB-GYN was denied by my health insurance plan (American Heritage Life Insurance Company, part of Allstate Worksplace Division). Sure this was a mistake, I called them, only to be told that they don’t cover preventive care. No, they’d rather that I never go to the gynecologist, get cervical cancer, and then ask them to pay to get that fixed. That is what seems logical to them.

I am paying $160 every month out of my own shallow little pocket for health insurance that gives me next to no coverage for anything. And there are groups of politicians who are trying to repeal Obama’s healthcare reform, which isn’t nearly as perfect as it could have been, but it’s still a giant step in the right direction, and in many ways, it’s holding insurance companies responsible for their behavior. Anyway, if you are one of these people, I urge you to come and tell me to my face that you want me to have to continue to pay out the nose for nothing in exchange, and that you’d rather have me get cancer than have “big government” in your business. Yeah, because, um… big, evil, greedy business is so much better. Insurance companies don’t give a flying f**k about you or me, and yet they have all the power.

So better yet, if you don’t want health-insurance reform, why don’t I send you my $260 doctor’s bill?

On a lighter, yet related, note, watch my friend Jonathan’s video, which is one of my favorites ever.

More on Trash Cat Woman

August 25, 2010

Can we talk about how in England, they apparently call the big trash can on the street a “wheelie bin“? Brits are so precious.

Here is a picture of Trash Cat Woman being escorted into a police car. I think we all know, however, that the real story here is the ridiculous getup those cops are wearing. WTF???

*This photo and all my info on the topic is from

Trash Cat Woman vs. Vertigo

August 24, 2010

Did you all hear about this woman in England who was caught on video putting a stranger’s cat in a trash can for seemingly no reason? The article says she has no idea why she did it — that she doesn’t know what came over her. It made me wonder, why do we sometimes do things that even we can’t explain to ourselves?

I’ve heard that vertigo isn’t the fear of falling as much as the fear of jumping. Although I’m not afraid of heights, I understand that. Having spent the vast majority of my life living in cities in the mountains, I’ve often been in high places and had the thought, “I hope I don’t jump off the edge.” Sometimes I’ll even picture myself jumping off, or worse, pushing someone. Mind you, I don’t want to or intend to, even for a moment. It’s just a fleeting thought that I have: “I hope I don’t.” So… did this woman think, “I hope I don’t put this cat in the trash,” but the difference is, she actually did?

One time I did do something kind of similar. Different in that it didn’t hurt any animals, but similar in that I made a really weird choice for no apparent reason. I have no idea why I did it, but I did. This was probably about a year ago or less. I was somewhere kind of nice, like a movie theatre or a restaurant — I don’t remember exactly — and I went to the bathroom. As I turned to leave the stall after having flushed, I glanced in the toilet to make sure all was well, and in fact there remained a single, small, round turd. I had already partially opened the stall door, and I could see the woman who was waiting for the stall, and she saw me; and as I slightly jerked toward the toilet to flush it, in a split instant, I thought, “Nah,” and I didn’t. I just left, and didn’t flush it. The woman entered after me and gave me a disgusted look as she flushed it herself. Why did I do that? I have no idea! I just didn’t feel like it. I just made that decision based on nothing at all, and it really went against the very fiber of my being. I am a very clean person and delight in having a pristine bathroom at home; I believe we each have the responsibility to be considerate of those around us; and I ALWAYS FLUSH THE TOILET, for crying out loud! It’s the most basic of civilized human behaviors! So why didn’t I give it a second flush? I can offer you no answer to that, except it was one of those times where vertigo took hold, and I just did something that I’m not programmed to do. It’s like that one time a robot expresses emotion and everyone stands there shocked, like, “Did this just happen? This is an aberration; this should not be. Take this robot back to the factory and program out the emotion, immediately.” And as the scientist slaps a sticker on the robot’s forehead and carries it off to be re-programmed, you see, if you look very closely, a glint of victorious rebellion in the robot’s eyes.. It did it. It wasn’t supposed to, but it did.

Everyone is saying this woman is an evil animal hater, but she and her family insist that she loves cats. I don’t know what’s more disturbing — the thought of an angry cat-hater torturing friendly felines or the realization that in the case of Trash Cat Woman vs. Vertigo, Vertigo won. At least she didn’t push anyone off a mountain.

Nuclear Summer

June 8, 2010

Y’all, I am fa-REAKING out about nuclear energy. I know this sounds weird, but I am. I don’t want it. And lots of powerful people are calling for government funding to go toward developing nuclear energy in the US. WTF?? This scares the ever-loving s@%t out of me, and would you think I was crazy if I told you that all the way to work this morning, I was in a state of near panic thinking about it?

So from what I understand, this oil spill in the gulf of Mexico has lots of people finally realizing that we need to get off oil as an energy source. And that’s great news, because we really, really do need to get off that shit for so many reasons, including, oh, I don’t know, war, and the destruction of our whole planet, and at first I was like, “Well, this oil spill really sucks the big one, but at LEAST it will get people’s attention and we can finally, seriously start developing alternative energy sources.” But then I realized, Hey, I bet now people are going to want to go nuclear even more, and that SCARES THE SHIT OUT OF ME! Last night I was feeling scared about it, so I brought it up to my boyfriend (I have one, Blog! I haven’t told you yet, but I do!). My boyfriend is not only cute, funny, smart and sweet, but he also works in environmental policy, as though he had read the handbook on how to woo me. So he knows all about this stuff, and I was really hoping he’d tell me that nuclear energy will never happen here, but he didn’t, and instead, he told me some stuff that made me even scareder (although I assure you this was not his intention, because he is sweet, as I mentioned earlier).

Things that I find spooky about nuclear energy include:
1. Things can go wrong, and we might blow up the world.
2. The more nuclear plants and nuclear waste-storage facilities we have, the more targets we have for terrorists (eeeek, terrrror!)
3. Speaking of nuclear waste, do you want it near your house? I don’t. It never breaks down. Ever. And it will kill you.

Why do we think creating this stuff is a better solution than what we’ve got? Maybe it works temporarily because it doesn’t release greenhouse gases, but I’m telling you people, down the road, we’re going to regret the shit out of this decision. If I had my druthers, we’d power everything with wind and solar power, and we’d all travel by train. With the billions it would take to build one single nuclear plant, we could build a giant, slightly creepy-yet-adorable army of windmills! And I’ll be the first to tell you that solar power is awesome, because my last apartment building had hot water that was solar powered, and I’ve never seen water that heated up that fast or stayed hot that long. Every time I showered, I felt like I was at a swanky hotel (except for the peeling paint on the window frame and the cat scratching on the door to get in). The fact that Southern California isn’t completely powered by the perpetual sunshine that we have blows my mind to smithereens.

So what do we do? Write letters? Start a Facebook campaign? Does anyone get the shivers like I do when you think about this?

If I haven’t convinced you yet, think about this: If we get more nuclear power, we’ll have to endure years and years of people who should know better pronouncing it “nucular.” If that’s not ghoulish enough to make your teeth chatter, you must be a robot.


February 15, 2007

You may be familiar with my stance on the horrible injustice that is this: It is seven years past “the future” (the year 2000), and we still do not have personal robots to do our bidding and talk in adorable robot voices. If you’re not familiar with said stance, here’s a refresher.

Today on my morning commute, the radio was talking about something that made my heart skip seventeen beats and made me squeal with joy.

Yes. It is finally almost here, for all of us.

The personal robot.

On the radio, the one phrase that especially excited me was when the DJ said, “Yeah, they say in the next few years they’ll be rolling out robots that will do your housework — answer your phone, get you a beer out of the fridge.”

Specifically, a robot scientist in Korea has designed a robot named EveR-1 who can “hold a conversation, make eye contact, and express joy, anger, sorrow, and happiness.” (Story here).

I cannot believe it. I’ve been waiting for this for so long! I have to admit, I kind of had my heart set on a robot that looked a little more robotty, like how I pictured it in the 80s — much like this little guy, but perhaps with eyes that are slightly less creepy:


And something rather unsettling is that according to the radio, the folks in Korea say EveR-1 is too ugly! Something about her hands being too big, among other things. I personally think she’s gorgeous, and if she has man-hands, all the better to fix things around the house! And the more I think about it, the more I get a little terrified, if a small amount of terror is possible. Are the personal robots going to set the bar that much higher for women’s appearances? Is my future husband going to leave me for a perpetually young robot with giant cartoon eyes, fish lips, a microscopic waist and ginormous gazongas, like an anime character or one of those hideous Bratz dolls? Will he be like, “OMG, Marcy, Why can’t you look more like Lindabot 8,000?” Will he fantasize about her while we do it? Will she be able to do it with him???

OK, now I’m in a panic. Seeing as how the future is here, I’d better go brush up on my science so I can design my own robot, one who looks like a combination of Val Kilmer and Tom Cruise in the Top Gun volleyball scene, and also like Johnny Depp, and also with the approachable, dorky-chic appeal of John Krasinski from The Office.

All I know is: The future is finally here, people, and I don’t know whether to be excited or scared. “Be careful what you wish for” has never seemed like such good advice.

So Fun! And Friendly, and Helpful!

August 17, 2006

I just read Cathryn Michon, Grrl Genius’s blog entry for today about her friend’s organization, Friends & Helpers. Here’s a blurb from Cathryn’s blentry:

So anyway, here’s the deal. In September my boyfriend and I (and apparently a bunch of rock stars) and some other people like us who are NOT rock stars are all going to New Orleans, Louisiana (all costs privately underwritten) to help re-open 12 schools devastated by the hurricane.

Every child in those schools will receive a backpack filled with school supplies, the libraries will get books, the teachers will get supplies, the bands will get instruments…

The fun part is (other than kids getting an education — always fun for society in general), you can send money, supplies, or buy anything off their Target wish list and have it sent directly to Friends & Helpers. I’ve been scrolling through the wish list. It’s so fun to think of buying these things for kids! For example, how cool are the large round stinky stickers and all the bulletin board sets? I can’t decide if I should buy these off or go get them at Office Depot tomorrow and send them myself. I haven’t shopped at Target in about a year and a half, because they made me angry with their shoddy return policy and churlish store managers. I tend to hold a grudge when huge corporations nickel & dime their customers. BUT, I am totally willing to put aside my grudge for this incredible cause. If you are like me and think shopping for kids is fun, I encourage you to order something off the wish list or go to Cathryn’s blog and see how to donate to this excellent cause. Yay!

Oooh, My First Catty Comment!

May 30, 2006

The other day I blogged about fertility drugs, something I do not and did not pretend to be an expert on, and today I saw that I have received my first catty comment from a stranger!  Someone named "Mon."  I think this shows that I have arrived, so to speak, in the blogosphere.  Score!

It is strange and unsettling, although a little exciting, to offend people.  When you're expected to go with the flow, not push buttons, and not ruffle feathers, as I think most American women are, it's a rather new experience to make people mad, specifically strangers.  It certainly wasn't my intention, but I guess you can't really write about stuff people are sensitive about without causing some negative reaction. 

Here is what Mon said:

Well lets hope that you are lucky enough that you will not have to resort to IVF or fertility drug treatment. I love the fact that your main preoccupation is on the the state of the woman’s belly rather than on the welfare of the kids.  

So: Aside from general crankiness and being a know-it-all, Mon is upset because I focused on the cosmetic issues (read: front butt) of having tons of babies at once rather than the issue of the babies' health.  Mon does an interesting thing here: Mon contradicts Monself in a way.  First, Mon is upset that I've said I don't think fertility treatments are always the answer.  (And note: I didn't say no one should ever consider fertility treatments, just that this couple maybe should have been more careful and/or been happy with the twins they already had).  I found a great article about problems with fertility drugs / in vitro fertilization here.  So anyway, first Mon gets mad at the point I'm making.  Then, Mon actually helps further my position by pointing out that having busloads of children in one sitting raises a lot of health issues not only for the mother but also for the children.  Thanks, Mon, for supporting my point of view.  And yes, it would suck to give birth to a litter of retarded children with missing fingers, but I thought discussing that would be a bit of a buzz kill. 

American Justice, and whatnot

May 4, 2006

I was going to write a post wondering how long Zacarias Moussaoui would last in prison without getting killed — five minutes? one minute?  But then I found out he'll be in solitary.  Good.  He'll have the rest of his life to think about what he's done.  It's like getting sent to your room rather than getting spanked — but on a much larger scale.  The death penalty would have been too easy for him.  Let him spend forty years by himself, staring at the walls, gradually realizing what a big, huge, huge, huge mistake he has made.

Oh, and while I'm on this topic:  The defense in his case was talking about the violence in his home as a child.  Why could they even use that?  It annoys me so much when criminals try to blame their behavior on their childhood.  A bad childhood does not justify killing people.  At some point adults have to take responsibility for their actions and stop blaming their parents. 

Wholesome Wear Is Back!

April 15, 2006

Yesss!  Someone at my last job pointed me toward this jewel of a swimwear website:  I checked back a while ago and it was under construction, and I feared that something had happened to my dear Wholesome Wear!  But it's back, and I can breathe a sigh of relief.  Otherwise, what would I have worn on the beach this summer!?

wholesomewear.jpg P.S. The straw hat is a nice touch, isn't it?