Archive for the ‘Loving and Hating’ Category

The 2010 TJ’s Buggy — New Body Style, Better Handling

July 23, 2010

The woman at Trader Joe’s looked at me like I was crazy when I went for the cart behind the cart that was in the front. Does that make sense? I pulled out one cart, then pulled out the next one and took that one. So naturally I felt the need to explain, so I said, “I like the red ones,” to which she gave me an even crazier look, because they are all red. But what I meant was, the solid red ones. Because they. are. awesome.

Side note: I’ve been using the word “cart,” because I want you to know what I’m talking about. But growing up in N.C., we called them “buggies,” and I frankly prefer that, so I’m switching now and bringing you along with me. Yay! Here we are. We’re talking about solid red buggies, and you’re in for a treat.

So, historically, when I’ve gone to the grocery store, I’ve always gotten the bad buggy. You know the one. The wheels squeak; or one of the brakes is permanently in the locked position so it drags across the floor making a noise like a dying hippo; or it veers to the right or left so that in order to keep it going straight, I have to throw my entire body weight into it. On the way out to the car, if the sidewalk is slanted one way or the other, it careens toward that side, dragging me with it until I swing around and block its trajectory or race over to the opposite corner and pull it, lurching to and fro until I finally arrive at my car in a full sweat. I always got that buggy.


One day, I took my roommate to the airport right around rush hour. After dropping her off, rather than spend my day on the freeway, I chose instead to go to a shopping center and kill some time. Well, there is a Trader Joe’s at that shopping center, and much to my surprise and delight, upon entering I noticed that all the old red and chrome buggies had been replaced with sleek, solid-red ones. And folks, not only were they beautiful, which they were — a sporty shade of candy-apple red — but the way those buggies handled — well, it was, quite frankly, a dream come true. Sporty suspension. Razor-tight turning radius. Responsive handling. Light and zippy, yet sleek and fast. All in all, an exhilarating driving– er, pushing experience.

I was so stoked that I took a picture. Ahem… two pictures. And did I get some crazy-person looks? Yes, I did. But it was worth it.

Since then, my own neighborhood store has started replacing old buggies with the new ones. Unfortunately, many of the old “bad buggies” still remain, but when I’m lucky enough to get a new one, it makes it that much sweeter. But don’t take my word for it. Go take one for a spin today!

Love on the L.A. Metro

July 8, 2010

Please read the title to the tune of Aerosmith’s “Love in an elevator.” And now that we have that taken care of:

I’ve been reading a self-help book, as I am wont to do, that told me to look for love everywhere I went, and to look for the connections between others and myself, and between others and other otherses. This was very good for me, because lately I’ve been witnessing a lot of hate in the world, and it’s started to get me down in a major way. I’ve gotten so tired of experiencing all the aggression that occurs 1,000 times a second on the freeways, for example, and it all culminated a couple weeks ago when someone put a pre-printed business card on my car that said it hoped I got cancer, because I was parked a little bit over the line in the tiny compact car space that my compact car does not fit into properly. Yes, I will repeat that: Someone went to the trouble of ordering and purchasing business cards that say on the front, “Way to park, asshole.” And on the back, “I hope you get cancer.” It was actually quite a visually appealing card, with a lovely combination of fonts printed on a nice brick-red color. But the point is, feeling that malice directed at me was the straw on the camel’s back of hate that I’d been witnessing, and it made me really, really sad.

So, back to the self-help book. The day after I read the section about looking for love everywhere, it was “one of those mornings” where all forces of the universe were determined to slow me down, and after running to catch the metro, I got there a minute too late, and had to wait, all sweaty-like, for the next one. When I finally got on, a woman using a walker (with difficulty) got on, too. A youngerish woman and a blind man both got up for her to take their seats. (Side note: The question has been raised as to how the blind man knew to get up for her, and my guess is that the youngerish woman said something, or maybe he’s just that good.) Well, the walker woman (henceforth referred to as Walker Woman or WW) took the blind man’s seat and began talking with him and the youngerish woman (YW). When the blind man got off, he said goodbye to YW, and she and WW kept talking. Throughout their conversation, I unabashedly eavesdropped and exchanged eye contact and smiles with both of them at various points. When it was time for me to get off at my stop, I said goodbye to Walker Woman, and Youngerish woman got off there, too. And here comes the best part: Youngerish woman crossed to the other side of the platform to wait for the train going in the opposite direction. She had gone past her stop, and I believe it was out of love, because she didn’t want to prematurely end her conversation with Walker Woman. She wanted to make sure WW was taken care of, and then and only then did she get off and make her way back to where she needed to go.


I’m so glad I missed my train that morning and ended up on the one I ended up on.

That day marked a new chapter for me, one of looking everywhere for love and kindness, and finding it. I make a point to make eye contact, smile at, and talk with more strangers, and I’m making new friends all over town. I still see the hate, and it still bums me out, but now I have something with which to balance it.

I think you should try it, too. We’ll fill the world with love, one person at a time. Then one day, we’ll realize that we don’t see any hate, because there won’t be any.

(Do I sound like a hippy, or what?)

Yeah, I Know.

April 25, 2008

Ugh, I am so horrible at updating my blog! There was a time when I had free time. That time is past. When I started this blog almost three years ago, it was my only creative outlet, and I needed it to stay sane. The good news is, I’m doing lots of creative things that make me happy, and my sanity no longer depends on this blog. The bad news is, my new creative things are taking up so much time that blogging (and laundry and bill-paying) is now whistling happily away on the back burner. I know there will be a point when I need to come back to it, though, so I’m thankful that it’s still here for me.

That said, it’s high time for a blentry, and I always find that an easy way to start back after a long hiatus is always a Loving and Hating. So here goes!

I am loving:

Spring! It’s always my favorite, and that will never change. On Monday I was suuuper sleepy, and at lunch I walked to a nearby park, spread out my straw beach mat, and fell immediately into a deep sleep. Within seconds I was twitching, and a half hour later I woke up with a start, cheek in a puddle of drool (you’re welcome), the blazing sun cooking me like a tender rotisserie chicken. Ohhhh, I will never stop appreciating sunshine and warm weather.

I am hating:

That some jackball scratched my Blubaru and didn’t leave a note. My “new” car now has 3 dings, a huge dent, and a scrape. Ahhh, L.A.


That I did my taxes early(ish) this year. I’m so proud of myself! I got someone to do them for me, and we itemized! New fun for me. This is in sharp contrast to last year, the year before, and every year before that, when I have waited until the very last possible minute.


My short attention span. What gives? I can’t seem to sit through a movie or do any one thing for more than an hour. I have this constant frenetic energy while somehow also being perpetually exhausted. Have I always been like this?


My current set of roommates. I miss Danielle a lot, but my old friend Lauren moved in, and we found a great guy on Craigslist named Robb, and he’s going to be bringing his dog in a couple months. I’ll have a furry friend at home that I don’t have to take care of! Lucky me!

Also Loving:

My bike! I love riding around to run errands. I also love looking at it, because it is stunningly beautiful.

Also Loving:

The neighborhood I live in. Walking on the long streets with big trees never fails to restore balance for me. I love how if you stand on the sidewalk and look in one direction or the other, the sidewalk stretches like a long, long triangle until it reaches a point and you can’t see it anymore. There’s something about that view that speaks directly to my soul, and I know that if I ever leave this place, it’s an image I’ll have forever (and not just because I’ve photographed it a million times).


Finally, loving:

Pudding! Oh, I love pudding so much!

Made By 100% Douchebags

March 6, 2008

OK, y’all, riddle me this:

We got a bunch of these paper plates at work, and I looked at them and for a second was like, “Oh, good — recycled!”

Then I took a closer look…


Those little rats! Right? They’re trying to fool old people and people who don’t read things carefully by pretending to be environmentally friendly! #1, They call themselves “Green Label,” using a term traditionally used for earth-friendly merchandise. And even more ridiculous is this piece of BS: “Made from 100% paper; a renewable natural resource.” Well, what the hell else would paper plates be made of? Kittens?? And do they think we’re so dumb that we think trees are just totally renewable; that we can just chop them down willy nilly and re-plant them and immediatly have an insta-forest?

Those deceitful little rascals! Who are they trying to kid with this thing?! Me, obviously. Well, nice try, buttheads. I’m hip to your jive.

Steamy Regards, Roger J. Pennywhistle

April 23, 2007

I hate it when people sign letters or emails with “Regards.” I think it started several years ago when someone I was dating was mad at me and signed an email that way instead of the usual sweet & sexy signoff. I replied with an email to the effect of, “WHAT IN PETE’S NAME ARE YOU TRYING TO PULL? REGARDS?????”

I don’t like it because you don’t know where you stand with “regards.” It may be good or it may be bad. “Best Regards” is one thing, because, well, you’re giving someone your very best regards! What could be better? But “Regards” could mean anything! Worst Regards, Hostile Regards, Bored Regards, Condescending Regards, Sinister Regards, Snarky Regards, or any number of unpleasant regards.

At my former job, I mentioned my distaste for the “r” word to my friend Rebecca, and we began signing emails to each other with various types of regards, including, but not limited to, Sleepy, Hungry, Thirsty, Distracted, Sexy, Slutty, Steamy, Delicious, Cantankerous, Ornery, etc.

If I ever send you an email and sign it just “Regards,” know what? You are on my shit list. That’s my way of giving you the finger in written word form. It’s the “if you can’t say anything nice, don’t say anything at all” methodology of signing off. If I’m not specific with my regards, you can bet they’re bad ones.

In conclusion, I am tired and don’t know how to end this blentry. Except by saying:

Sticky Regards,


(Don’t know why, just picked “sticky.” Got a problem with it? Fine! I’ll be sending you my regards).

Are You Addicted to Workahol?

June 13, 2006

You know what's kind of dumb?  The fact that people say they're a "chocolaholic," a "shopaholic," a "workaholic," or a whateveraholic.  The reason we say "alcoholic" is because people are addicted to "alcohol."  If we said it right, we'd say we were a "chocolate-ic" or a "work-ic" or a "shop-ic."  I'm not saying you're dumb if you've ever described yourself as a something-aholic, I'm just saying it's an expression that has worked its way into our language, and it's dumb. So dumb it's, like, dumbaholic.

Loving and Hating — May Edition

May 24, 2006


That I get Friday and Monday off for Memorial Day, and my friends Dan and Rachel will be in town for the weekend, and we're all going to Laguna for sun and fun! 


I forgot to get tickets to the Fiona Apple / Damien Rice show when they went on sale, and of course they're sold out!  I've never seen Fiona Apple, but I really, really want to!  How could I have done that!?


I did NOT forget to get tickets to the Flaming Lips at the Hollywood Bowl, and can't WAIT for that show!


That my movie star next-door neighbor Tim Olyphant moved away, and the whole time he lived next door I wanted to strike up a conversation about his work, which is great, but I had only seen him on Sex and the City and Scream 2 and felt dumb being like, "Oh, I saw you on an old rerun of Sex and the City from 1998, you were great," when meanwhile he had done tons of other stuff I hadn't seen, and I couldn't watch Deadwood b/c we didn't get HBO.  Now he's on the radio every day calling in and doing the sports report, and I wish I could say, "Hey, I listen to you on 103.1 on my way to work. You're hilarious!" But I can't, because he has moved away.


That (fingers crossed and knocking on wood) Spring seems to have finally arrived, and the chilly, gray weather is giving way to sunshine.  About time!

Help Me Out Here…

April 28, 2006

What's with that awful System of a Down song that goes "Such a Lonely Day, blah blah blah blah, The most lonliest day of my liiiiiiiiiiife." 

I'd like to address the band here: Maudlin lyrics aside, um…  have you taken an English class in the entierety of your education?  First grade? Second grade? Anything? Anything at all? Has anyone ever, at any point in your life, spoken to you about the English language?  Because dogs and cats even know, I think, that "most lonliest" is redundant and just plain incorrect.  Just dumb.  And it's not like you're even doing it for artistic or rhythmic purposes.  "The lonliest day" would actually sound better rhythmically.  It fits just fine.  There's no need to add that "most." Why did you do it?  It makes my ears bleed every time I accidentally stumble across it on the radio, and then it sticks in my head like glue on a first grader's popsicle-stick house.  A first grader who might eat that glue, but knows better than to say "most lonliest."

My question is, weren't there a lot of people working on this album?  The band, of course, the producers, the band's managers, the band's friends and family who listened to it while they were working on it, maybe?  Did any of those people bring up the fact that "most lonliest" is bad English?  Did anyone say to the band, "Band, have you thought about changing your lyrics simply to "the lonliest"?  I feel that even the janitor could have helped in some way.  Sure, maybe he or she was too shy to bring it up, but even speaking English as a second language, s/he knew "most lonliest" was just plain wrong.  Couldn't s/he have left a post-it on the studio door, kindly suggesting a lyric change?  Couldn't someone, anyone, have fixed this?  I'm bewildered. I really am.

Lisa Loeb Is So Cute!

April 26, 2006

I love her show, Number One Single.  She is adorable!  I love her Hello Kitty appliances, and her clothes with little animal faces and cute sayings on them.  I like that stuff, too, but I had started feeling like I was too old to wear it.  Too old!  Ha!  She's 37, and she still works that stuff like a pro. An adorable, squeezable pro.  My favorite thing so far is the ponytail holders she was wearing in the episode I saw the other day.  She was wearing pigtails — yes, a 37-year-old wearing pigtails, and pulling it off with ease – and each ponytail holder had a little pompom bunny on it!  SO cute. 

Another thing I like about Lisa's show is that as I mentioned, she is 37 years old.  That is ten years older than me!  I'm 27, and I was starting to feel old!  I sometimes feel like I'm behind the times, since an alarmingly huge chunk of my friends are married, and some have children to boot.  Lisa wants those things, and she's not even dating anyone seriously!  I mean, at least not when the episodes I've seen were filmed.  Of course, by my age she had her professional life together, whereas I am far, far from figuring that out.  But what I'm saying is that in ten years if I can be wearing bunny rabbits on my pigtails and look cute, who needs husbands and babies?!  Now I can relax a little.  Thanks, Lisa!

Things I Like

April 24, 2006

I like how the kitchen gets warm and humid when the dishwasher is running.

I like the way the sky looked at dusk last night — still baby blue, with white fluffy clouds, but with a depth to the light that marked the difference between evening and night.  Not dissimilar to the ceilings in the shopping areas of Las Vegas hotels.

Oh, this is a good one:  A couple weeks ago I was sitting on a low stone wall waiting for a friend, and a woman with an adorable little fluffy black dog walked by.  When the dog passed me, he did a double take and tugged on the leash, demanding an opportunity to say hello.  I petted him, and he instantly fell in love with me and didn't want to leave.  Even after she pulled him away he kept looking back at me.  He couldn't get enough!  I like that a lot.

Loving & Hating

March 28, 2006

Loving: that Jeremy is back in L.A.! and that I got to see Sarah, my old college roommate, yesterday when she was in town from Hawaii, and I met her, her husband, and a member of the U.S. Women's National soccer team who used to play for Carolina (yes, I'll admit that was gratuitous information I added to impress you and to make you think I regularly hang out with important people) (did I mention my next-door neighbor is a movie/TV star?) and went to a taping of The Tonight Show With Jay Leno, which was fun except that it was freezing in there and I had to pee the whole time.  Oh, and BTW, Lucy Liu was there as Jay's guest wearing the most gorgeous dress I have ever seen and had a waist so tiny and perfectly proportioned to the rest of her tiny body that I felt I must run out of the studio immediatly and start doing crunches right there by the side of the road.

Hating: this city's ridiculous traffic problem.  I'm getting to where the drive to work makes me want to scream every day, and my commute supposedly isn't even "that bad," comparatively.  If I had a commute that was "that bad," I would get another job, or move.  It ain't worth it.

Loving: that Lisa Loeb reality show, "#1 Single."  I like her!  Don't know what it is, but I just like her and love her show.

Hating: I went to the dentist yesterday and found out I had the first two cavities of my life!  Bummer.  Well, it's been a good 27-year run.

Loving: Trader Joe's organic yogurt, and that I just remembered I have a ton of it in the fridge here at work

Hating: That I am retarded.  I just now realize that I totally forgot to TiVo Jay Leno last night to see if I saw myself in the audience.  What is the matter with me?!