Sometimes for lunch I walk to a shopping center and get a burrito at El Pollo Loco. Then sometimes I walk next door to a shoe store called “Imelda’s Shooz.” The only person in there is a woman whom I can only assume is Imelda, and she’s always super nice, and always says, “Tell me you like anything ’cause I give discount.” (Hmm, or maybe her name isn’t really Imelda, it’s just a joke about Imelda Marcos. I just thought of that! Haha. I always wondered why Imelda was Asian but had a Spanish name). Anyway, I always want really badly to be able to buy some shooz from Imelda, but I just never find anything quite right. I’m afraid she’s going to go out of business, but right now I ain’t got the kind of dough to be buying shoes I don’t really want. But every time I go in there, I’m the only one there. And now I tend to shy away from the store because I’m afraid of getting Imelda’s hopes up, then dashing them.

In high school, a local folk singer named David Wilcox lived in my neighborhood and sang a song called “East Asheville Hardware,” in which he petitioned us to shop there so it wouldn’t go out of business. I took it seriously, and anytime my family needed anything hardware-related, we trooped on down to East Asheville Hardware. And every word of that song hit home to me, because I had been going there ever since I was a baby, and it was connected to a little mom n’ pop grocery store called Miller’s, where they sold the best soft-serve ice cream cones in the universe. By high school, Miller’s was already gone, so when David sang about the hardware store, I felt his passion deep in my bones. And of course, a few years later, East Asheville Hardware was gone, too.

That’s why I’m worried about Imelda. If you need some shooz, please pay her a visit. She’s got some cute stuff! Nice brands, too.

In conclusion, and in honor of small businesses everywhere, here are the lyrics to East Asheville Hardware, by David Wilcox.

An angel appeared
in a holy vision
Stood by my bedside
in the shivering light
Spoke my name
Told me my mission
I could not believe I was hearing him right
‘Cause he said, ‘Go, my son, go…

Always go to East Asheville Hardware
Before you go to Lowe’s

He said, “Go to East Asheville Hardware
Before you go to Lowe’s
You’ll help to keep them open
I’m worried they might close
From the stiff competition
From the national conglomerate
With the full page ad
in the color section of the Sunday paper supplement
and stacks of plastic swimming pools
and seven brands of power tools
and rows and rows of registers
all having nice days
But no, you go, he said to me with light around his face
He said, You go first to that age-old place
To that old wooden door
that you have to close behind you
To the wide-board wooden floor
worn down soft

To the real thing
Good advice, quality at a fair price
And know that they know how deep the frost goes here.

Sure there’s stuff you’ll have to find at Paty’s, Lowe’s or Sears

But go to East Asheville Hardware
Go to East Asheville Hardware
Before it disappears.

Last Friday night I went to see The Shins and Belle & Sebastian at the Hollywood Bowl with Rebecca and her friend Emily. (Is that a record for most links in one sentence? If so, is there a prize for that? If so, where do I collect said prize?) The bowl is always an excellent time. Rebex and I found great parking and got there in plenty of time to see the Shins, even though we were terrified that we wouldn’t make it all the way from work on time. We had wine and delicious picnic food, including various cheeses, the most delicious strawberries in the universe, and chocolate bundt cakes, which I stubbornly insisted on calling butt cakes.

Despite the good music and great company, as the night wore on I found myself getting fidgety. The show went from 7:30 to 11, and everyone was staying seated. Well, I had been sitting down for over 12 hours already that day, counting the commute to and from work. I needed to move around, dudes! And suddenly the best idea ever appeared like a light bulb over my head. I thought, I’d be so happy right now if I was on an exercise bike or an elliptical cycle. I could be enjoying the live music while getting a workout! So I determined that the best concert hall ever would consist of a normal stage and layout, but instead of seats it would have cardio machines, circuit training machines, weights, and mats for stretching. Now, you might say “But what about just standing up and dancing to the music?” Well, I agree that dancing is often a good solution for fidgetyness, but along with that comes people banging into you, spilling drinks on you, jumping in front of you and blocking your view, and the general ruining of fun. If we each had our own exercise equipment, we could all maintain our own personal space! And we could spin, run, or lift to the music! We would all be healthy and have hot bodies, and also be well-rounded individuals, due to all the concerts we were taking in. By George, I didn’t become a certified genius for nothing!

The only thing worse than getting a bad song stuck in your head is getting a good one stuck. Remember when I went on and on about my new favorite adorable singer, Lily Allen? Well, I have listened to a few of her songs over and over, and now the catchiest one, “LDN,” which is a fantastic song, is on constant repeat in my head and will not leave me alone. All day Monday, Tuesday and Wednesday it was there. Finally, yesterday I was able to stave it off when I listened to some of my other music. Then, this morning at work, I felt it starting to creep back in. “NO!” I panicked. “NO! STAY AWAY!” But it didn’t. I fought it for a while, and then I allowed myself to sing through the whole thing in my head, and now it’s here to stay. Damn it!

You might say, “Well, at least it’s a good song!” But I say, No, that’s worse, because now that song is ruined for me. It might be years before I can thoroughly enjoy it again, and that makes me sad, because I like it! I ruined it for myself. This hasn’t happened for me since Aught-Three, when an ex-co-worker whose name I shant mention here listened to Coldplay’s “Clocks” album at her desk over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over, 2 or 3 times a day, every day for two straight years. You think I’m exaggerating, which sometimes I do, but I swear this time I’m not. If you don’t believe me, ask Rachel and she’ll back me up. I got to the point that if I ever heard even one note of “In My Place” outside of work, I would start involuntarily twitching and mumbling nonsense words, my eyes staring and unfocused. (OK, that part might (or might not) be a slight exaggeration). And that just f-ing sucks, because I really liked that song.

Whoa, you guys have got to hear Lily Allen. Her sound is so fresh and such a brilliant combination of sounds. It feels young and free, yet badass. Go to her website right this minute and listen to “LDN.” I heard it on KCRW and recorded part of it with my phone so I could figure out who it was, but luckily KCRW is awesome and told me anyway. Then I found her MySpace Music page, and she has songs you can listen to and put on your own MySpace page. My favorite of these is “Little Things,” although I don’t know why there’s a picture of Courtney Love next to it. Anyway, if I had a bunch of extra cash lying around I would use it to fly to the U.K. and see her live. But as my dad says, I’ve “barely got a pot to pee in,” so I’ll have to wait until she comes to L.A. And wait I will, on the edge of my seat.

What's with that awful System of a Down song that goes "Such a Lonely Day, blah blah blah blah, The most lonliest day of my liiiiiiiiiiife." 

I'd like to address the band here: Maudlin lyrics aside, um…  have you taken an English class in the entierety of your education?  First grade? Second grade? Anything? Anything at all? Has anyone ever, at any point in your life, spoken to you about the English language?  Because dogs and cats even know, I think, that "most lonliest" is redundant and just plain incorrect.  Just dumb.  And it's not like you're even doing it for artistic or rhythmic purposes.  "The lonliest day" would actually sound better rhythmically.  It fits just fine.  There's no need to add that "most." Why did you do it?  It makes my ears bleed every time I accidentally stumble across it on the radio, and then it sticks in my head like glue on a first grader's popsicle-stick house.  A first grader who might eat that glue, but knows better than to say "most lonliest."

My question is, weren't there a lot of people working on this album?  The band, of course, the producers, the band's managers, the band's friends and family who listened to it while they were working on it, maybe?  Did any of those people bring up the fact that "most lonliest" is bad English?  Did anyone say to the band, "Band, have you thought about changing your lyrics simply to "the lonliest"?  I feel that even the janitor could have helped in some way.  Sure, maybe he or she was too shy to bring it up, but even speaking English as a second language, s/he knew "most lonliest" was just plain wrong.  Couldn't s/he have left a post-it on the studio door, kindly suggesting a lyric change?  Couldn't someone, anyone, have fixed this?  I'm bewildered. I really am.

I love her show, Number One Single.  She is adorable!  I love her Hello Kitty appliances, and her clothes with little animal faces and cute sayings on them.  I like that stuff, too, but I had started feeling like I was too old to wear it.  Too old!  Ha!  She's 37, and she still works that stuff like a pro. An adorable, squeezable pro.  My favorite thing so far is the ponytail holders she was wearing in the episode I saw the other day.  She was wearing pigtails — yes, a 37-year-old wearing pigtails, and pulling it off with ease – and each ponytail holder had a little pompom bunny on it!  SO cute. 

Another thing I like about Lisa's show is that as I mentioned, she is 37 years old.  That is ten years older than me!  I'm 27, and I was starting to feel old!  I sometimes feel like I'm behind the times, since an alarmingly huge chunk of my friends are married, and some have children to boot.  Lisa wants those things, and she's not even dating anyone seriously!  I mean, at least not when the episodes I've seen were filmed.  Of course, by my age she had her professional life together, whereas I am far, far from figuring that out.  But what I'm saying is that in ten years if I can be wearing bunny rabbits on my pigtails and look cute, who needs husbands and babies?!  Now I can relax a little.  Thanks, Lisa!

That's a badass title, isn't it?  Well… I wish I could take credit, but I can't.  It's a song title from the Flaming Lips' new album, "At War With The Mystics." I heard a segment about it, including some clips, on KCRW this morning, and I am absolutely peeing myself to get my hands on it.  It's been a long time since I've been this excited about a new album from any musician.  I've been reading about it on the Flaming Lips website all morning, and what Wayne (the lead singer) has written about each song is passionate and inspiring and makes me want to laugh and cry and live and love and eat big meals at big tables with my big Italian family (oh… no, wait, that's my imagination running away again).  But I'm telling you it's pure passion in music, like life in a bottle, and music this good just makes you want to LIVE, DAMN IT, LIVE!  And I haven't even heard the songs all the way through yet.  All I know is I'm in love with music again, and it feels so damn good.