BaddMinton

Remember the mystery of the never-empty office toilet paper? I walked by the janitor’s cart just now and saw a pile of take-home rolls, as pretty as you please! Oh, sweet relief! They’re not throwing away the toilet paper. Finally, for the first time since Tuesday, August 14th, 2007, I can get a good night’s […]

The new soap in the bathroom at work smells like bad piña coladas, like the kind made with malibu rum and a pre-made mix. Incidentally, I’ve often thought bad piña coladas taste like soap.
Coincidence?
I think so.

I just did the dumbest thing. I was pulling into the parking garage at work and putting my window down so I could scan my keycard, and I was concentrating on the window, because there’s a blob of bird doodoo on the top part, and I didn’t want to put it all the way down […]

The other day for lunch, I walked over to the cafe at the building next door. Since it was a blustery 60 degrees outside, everyone who usually sits outside was sitting inside, and there weren’t too many available tables. I sat down at a 4-person table, propped up my little number on the edge of […]

So… The toilet paper at work never runs out. This is a good thing on one level, for obvious reasons… but I can’t help wondering what happens to the almost-empty rolls. Do they throw them away? That would be mighty wasteful. Or do the janitors take them home to their families? Are there a […]

Rebecca has gotten a new job, and while I am thrilled for her, I am sad for myself, because now she no longer works with me. When I arrived at work on Monday, I was greeted by her hard-partying patriotic kangaroo and koala, who were partying it up on my desk.

It made me a […]

I’m so tired of people using the word “myself” incorrectly. It is rampant. Why do people do this? And so many do. I am an editor. For my job, I edit things for correctness, or “correctaliciousness,” if you will. You would think my fellow editors would know when to say “me,” when to say “I,” […]

I’m wearing my cranky pants today. Or maybe cranky shoes is more accurate, because it’s mostly because of my feet. As some of you know, I injured both of my feet in early December for the dumbest reason: I wore the wrong shoes in Disneyland. Ironically, these ones, that I was so excited about and […]

So I was just in a meeting for like 25 minutes in which one other person and I were sitting directly across a table from my boss, and after about 15 of those minutes, I looked down to realize the top FOUR buttons of my shirt were undone, giving any onlooker an unrestricted view of […]

We interrupt this regularly scheduled blog to say, OH my gosh, I HATE it when I overhear someone at work, particularly my boss, saying my name, and that’s all I hear. It sounds like the parents from the Peanuts cartoon until I hear my name, like, “Mwa wah, mwah wah wah Marcy mwah wah […]

Joanna and Jay, your requests and dedications are coming soon, but first we must discuss how I drove my roommate’s newish SAAB to work today while my oldish Mazda is in the shop, and how I am now spoiled forever.
I shall discuss some points of the newish SAAB and also some items regarding my oldish […]

Last week after reading this blentry, my friend Virginia brought me this:

I am happy to report it is completely ass free, as advertised.

I fully indended to update my blog while I was in Chicago (let it be known that nearly every time I try to type “blog,” I first type “blob.”). But I didn’t, because I was so, so, so, so busy that I had nary a moment to myself. I arrived on Saturday, went […]

It’s Friday, and the only thing I can think of to blog about is the fact that it’s Friday. I went out last night with some friends after work, and went to bed after 12, so do you think when my supervisor called me at 5:30, over an hour before my usual waking time, while […]

UM…. Am I in Pergatory? My worst nightmare is coming true. I was peeing in my favorite bathroom stall at the office yesterday (for information on which one is my favorite and why, see Appendix A), and mid-pee, what do you think happened? Yes. It flushed itself. I was all, “Wha…???” […]